{"product_id":"my-useless-thing","title":"My Useless Thing","description":"\u003cp\u003eIntroducing \"My Useless Thing\" — a completely, utterly, and gloriously useless handmade sculpture by The Chef Dr. Heaton. Crafted from wood and adorned with watches, rings, necklaces, and a rolling pin, this one-of-a-kind creation serves absolutely no practical purpose whatsoever. And that's exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWho doesn't have a useless thing? Who doesn't \u003cem\u003eneed\u003c\/em\u003e a useless thing? Now you can own the ultimate useless thing — handmade with love and zero utility.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterials: Wood, watches, rings, necklaces, rolling pin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eArtist: The Chef Dr. Heaton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUtility: None. Absolutely none.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne-of-a-kind original\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Chef Heaton's","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49083688190180,"sku":null,"price":2000.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0807\/0840\/3428\/files\/thumbnail_82c29038-b587-4364-a80f-c63c91b69ee7.jpg?v=1780627222","url":"https:\/\/chefheatons.com\/products\/my-useless-thing","provider":"Chef Heaton's","version":"1.0","type":"link"}